I was afraid of the world because I was unsure of myself

I was afraid of the world because I was unsure of myself, so anxiety leaked through every pore of my body. Agoraphobia developed; my blinds stayed shut. I disliked the purpose of life - the idea of exchanging my energy for money, only to have my body fail me somewhere down the line. I didn't believe it to be logical or wise to live, the thought of human existence seemed, put simply - stupid. I went months without leaving the house, sometimes nights without sleep, and I fell victim to my depression - allowing negative emotions to consume my frail body and control my mental state. It was a very contradictory and dark place, and I could have remained there if it weren't for philosophy or my courage to confront myself. I lost friends. I lost interest in doing what most do when they are young. I lost myself to a mirror of truth, as I found a hidden face behind the glass. I lost sight of what most eyes are fixated on, only to look within instead; but I gained more than anyone can imagine. For the first time, I didn't feel lost, or that I was losing - even though the familiar was ending. It was uncharted territory from there on, and here now, but strangely enough, this is where I have found you and suddenly, existing in the universe isn't such a lonely or frightful experience.⁣⁣